Unfinished
by mendelevium101
Summary: (Original story is Still Beating Heart, read that first so things will make a little bit more sense.) Something unexpected happened and now Edd is having to deal with the aftermath. Can Edd work things out on his own or will they keep spiraling out of his control?
1. Chapter 1

It had happened so suddenly. Kevin had been stable, the doctors weren't sure what had happened. Edd was hurt and completely confounded. What had happened between the time Kevin stabilized and the time his heart stopped beating?

The only answer Edd could give was that he had told Kevin just how he really felt. He had let Kevin know the one thing he needed to know so that he could move on to a better place. Edd had hoped it would give Kevin the strength to come back, but instead it had given him the strength to let go.

The funeral service had been nice, at least as nice as a funeral could be. Edd had sat next to Mr. Barr, and the entire school had shown up for moral support. The other two Ed's had been standing in the back. As much as Eddy had disliked the guy he had shed more than a few tears at the news. He'd deny it if anyone ever asked though, and Ed had been as upset as the day he found out that chicken was actually made from real chickens.

Nazz had been polite and just as nice as always. Sarah had actually been quiet for once and leaned on Jimmy the entire time. He just kept his arm wrapped around her and handed her tissues when she needed them. Rolf had politely refused to speak and instead offered the opportunity to Edd, who he claimed was much better with words.

And so when the time came for him to speak he stood from the front pew and walked on shaking legs up to the podium. He looked out over the growing crowd of people in a church that was too small. He recognized faces who'd supported Kevin through everything, and faces who'd turned their backs on him. And in seeing all those people, his speech was lost to him. For the first time in his life he didn't stick to his plan.

He took a deep breath and began to speak. "I had prepared a speech, but somehow it doesn't quite seem right anymore. Seeing all of you here, the people who cared about him, it makes my chest hurt. No one in this room could possibly understand just how sorry I am." Tears started to stream down his face, and he choked back a sob. Mr. Barr moved to the edge of his seat. "I feel I'm the wrong person to be standing up here. It was my fault." He cracked. His walls crumbled.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Barr." His knees gave way and Mr. Barr was there to catch him.

Ed and Eddy had somehow materialized from the back of the room to right there by the front pew. Mr. Barr hugged Edd close and whispered to him. "It was not your fault. You loved him, and he knew that. I know that." And then let Ed and Eddy take him outside.

Mr. Barr stepped up to the podium and began to speak. "My son was on the fast track to being a good man. He was a good friend to those who were deserving of his friendship, and anyone who didn't deserve it didn't get it. The past year or so we didn't really see eye to eye on some things. And I regret that. He loved someone with all his heart and that's more than a lot of people can say. I may not have understood it, but I'm still proud of who he was. Because at least he had the courage to be himself. To stand up for what he loved. To be the kind of man more of us should be."

He wasn't sure of what else to say so he just stopped speaking. The room was silent for a minute before he stepped down from the podium and walked towards the back of the church and out the door. The remaining patrons looked around at each other in confusion. No one was really sure what to do. The preacher who'd been leading the service went back up to the podium and led the group in a prayer before dismissing them.

Outside Ed, Edd, and Eddy sat in Eddie's car while Double D let it all out. He hadn't told them yet what had happened the day of Kevin's accident. When he finished speaking he leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes.

Eddy shook his head and placed a hand on Edd's knee. "Look Double D, it's not your fault. You didn't make him get on his bike. You didn't make him break the speed limit. And you didn't throw a curve in front of him and make him wreck. You made a mistake. But you didn't kill him."

Double D laughed a pathetic excuse for a laugh. "But that's just it Eddy. I don't make mistakes, remember? I'm the smart one, remember? I know everything! I never get things wrong! I'm always right! I don't make mistakes, Eddy! Remember?"

"Double D. You are scaring me!" Ed cried when Double D finished screaming.

Eddy shot Ed a look and then grabbed Double D around the neck and pulled him in for a hug.

"What in the world are you doing?" Edd asked trying to squirm his way out of Eddy's reach.

"Let it happen Egghead. Don't fight it. Just feel the hug and let it out. All the anger. All the sadness. You can even hit me if ya want. Just let it out, man." Eddy said still holding Edd to his chest.

Double D took him up on his offer and hit him in the gut. "Let go of me. I don't need to let it out."

"Double D you do though." Ed said petting the smart teens head.

Edd stopped fighting then. He knew it was no use, and he knew his friends were right. He needed to let it out. He needed to get rid of his sadness. He needed to get rid of his guilt. His shoulders went slack and his hands moved up to grasp Eddy's shirt. He buried his face as far into Eddie's chest as he could without smothering himself, and then he started sobbing. Again.

Eddy looked at Ed and ran his hand through Double D's hair. Ed followed Eddy's example and began petting Double D once more. The faint sound of people talking reached their ears and Eddy looked back towards the church. He lifted Double D up and wiped the tears off the boy's face.

"The service is over, we can take you home if you want, or we can stay and have thirty different people offer you twenty different types of macaroni and fried chicken. Your choice." Eddy said.

"I don't want to stay here, but I don't want to go home either." Edd admitted.

"Okay well how about we go hang out at the shops for about thirty minutes while we wait for Ed's boss to open up the store, and then we'll go back to my place. How does that sound?"

"Why don't we just drop me off at your house first?" Edd asked, confusion written all over his face.

Eddy started up the car and put it in gear to get out of the parking lot. "Well for starters I don't want you to be alone. Second, it'll save gas to just go to the shops and then go home. And third, it'll do you good to get out for a little bit."

Double D didn't protest, he simply leaned his head back on the head rest once more and let the tears fall.


	2. Chapter 2

Eddy would glance at the crying teen every now and again. He wanted so badly to make Edd feel better but he didn't know what he could do. So he just let the guy cry it out. Double D had cried silently the entire way to the shops. He sat in the car and cried while his two friends went into the store. Ed had to work, and Eddy had to pick up a few things since Double D would more than likely be staying over for a while.

When Eddy got back to the car Edd's face was still wet but it looked as if he'd stopped crying for the moment. Double D looked at Eddy and gave him an unconvincing smile.

"I don't believe you." Eddy said as he started up the car.

Edd reached his right hand out and held up his pinky. "I'll be fine. I promise."

"Put your pinky away." Eddy said rolling his eyes. "I know you will be fine. But that doesn't mean I can't worry about you while you aren't"

Edd laughed a sad excuse for a laugh, "Oh Eddy, I didn't know you cared so much."

"Well duh Sockhead. You're basically the most important person in my life. I figured your smart ass would have figured that out by now." Eddy wasn't quite sure why he'd said it, but he had and he realized as he spoke just how true it was.

Double D sighed. "Is that why you didn't like him?"

Eddy looked from the road to Edd and his expression turned from one of openness to bitterness.

His face twisted in anger and then he aggressively flipped his blinker on. He pulled almost too quickly off the road and into a vacant lot.

"What are you doing?" Double D nearly shrieked.

When they were safely off the road Eddy parked the car and turned to face Edd straight on. "I know you just lost your first love or whatever, but I'm going to tell you this once and only once. You're damn right that's why I didn't like him. At least after you two got together. But before that I didn't like him because he was a cocky asshole. But once you two got together you humbled him. That's the only reason I could even stand being around the douche. Now I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that you feel guilty about what happened to him. But what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I could say right now." He took a deep breath and continued on, "I'm glad it was him. I'm glad it was him and not you. You're my best fucking friend and if something happened to you I could never live with myself."

Eddy sat there staring at Double D waiting for a response, but Double D wasn't quite sure what to say. He wanted to be offended, because he'd just been told by his best friend that the other was glad his boyfriend had died. But he couldn't really bring himself to be angry. He just felt bad, because even after all their years of friendship this was the first time he'd realized just how much Eddy really cared. He'd always just thought their friendship was one of convenience, but now that he knew how much he really meant to Eddy, he felt he should've known it all along.

Double D stuttered for a minute before he was able to speak clearly. "I should've been a better friend to you." That was all he could think to say.

Eddy shook his head and placed his hand on Edd's shoulder. "You've been the best friend a person could have. I don't think you can get any better than that."

Edd grabbed Eddie's hand and held it for a minute in his lap. "Thank you for saying that." Edd kept his eyes on their hands. "I haven't really felt like that great of a person lately. So it means a lot to me that you think that."

There was a strange feeling floating around the car, Eddy wasn't quite sure what to make of it so he shifted in his seat and pulled his hand away from Double D so that he could turn the car back on. "Yeah. No problem, Sockhead." He said.

The rest of the drive to Eddy's house was a silent one. Edd didn't cry again but he felt like he should. In the back of his mind he realized that he was probably dehydrated from crying all morning. When they got back to Eddy's house they were shocked to see Eddy's older brother getting out of a cab in the driveway.

Eddy's face contorted in annoyance. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"Who knows." Edd said just as annoyed. "Hopefully his visit will be short. Very short. I'm really not in the mood for his company."

Eddy parked his car next to the curb and got out. "Hey Terrence, what are you doing here?"

The older and scruffier looking brother turned around and smiled a surprisingly genuine smile. "I was in the neighborhood and I got this strange feeling that something wasn't quite right. So naturally I had to come check on everyone and see what was going on."

Edd slammed the door to Eddie's car and both brothers turned their eyes to him. "I'm going to go check on Kevin's dad." He shot a hostile glance at Terrence as he spoke. "Just text me and let me know what's going on. I'm not staying here with him."

Terrence chuckled at Edd's words. "Oh poor Double Dork having a bad day?" He asked in a purely playful tone.

Edd's eyes flashed with rage as he stomped over to the much larger man. He reached his hand out and slapped Terrence right across his left cheek. "Don't you ever call me that." He said in an even tone before spinning on his heel and walking in the direction of Kevin's house.

He didn't look back when Terrence asked what he'd done.

Eddy tried not to laugh even though he'd found it quite hilarious. He just put an arm around his brother and led him inside to put some ice on his face. Also to possibly shed some light on just why he'd been bitch slapped by a guy who had never hit anyone until that day.

Edd tried not to focus on the stinging sensation in his palm when he knocked on Mr. Barr's door.

"Hold on a second." Mr. Barr called from down the hall, his voice was thick and Edd wasn't sure but it'd sound like he'd slurred.

When the door opened Mr. Barr leaned his head on the doorway. His tie was hanging loose around his neck, and his shirt was still partially tucked in. "Is there something I can help you with?" He asked.

Edd wanted to be shocked, but he wasn't. He'd figured that something like this would happen. Kevin had told him once that his dad had taken to the bottle and stayed there for about three years after his mom left. So naturally Edd had assumed that it would happen again. Sometimes he really hated being right.

"Actually, I came to check on you." He said walking into the house. "I'd hoped to find you in a less drunken state. But since we're both here."

He left his thought unfinished and grabbed the bottle from Mr. Barr's hand.

"You give that back." He demanded, but Edd just put the bottle to his lips and swallowed two big gulps of the unknown substance.

He let out a couple of coughs and handed the bottle back to Mr. Barr. "What is that?"

Mr. Barr laughed slightly. "Whiskey."

Double D was red in the face and he laughed too. "I don't think I'll be having anymore."

"Shouldn't have had any in the first place. That was a pretty dumb thing to do." Mr. Barr said before walking towards the living room.

"Believe it or not, that is not the most stupid thing I have done today." Edd said following the man.

"Oh really, what's the stupidest thing then?" The older gentleman asked raising an eyebrow.

"I hit Eddy's older brother in the face."

"Wait, the one who tried to beat all of you up back in middle school?"

Edd looked at the man, his features contorted with confusion. "You know about that?"

"Well of course I do. Kevin told me all about it once. He said the guy was a real jerk." The man took a sip of whiskey and shrugged. "So why'd you hit him?"

Edd took the bottle again and sipped from it. "He called me Double Dork." He handed the bottle back to Mr. Barr and then put his head in his hands. Mr. Barr didn't say a word as he wrapped one arm around Edd and patted the boy on his back.


	3. Chapter 3

They'd sat there until the bottle was empty, and then they'd sat there some more. The TV was on but neither of them really watched it. They just sat in silence both of them feeling guilty, both of them wanting to take back things they'd said to Kevin. Mr. Barr knew what Edd felt guilty for, but Edd had no clue how the other man felt.

"I know you feel guilty," Mr. Barr started, "and I want you to know that you aren't the only one. It was my fault."

Edd looked at the man nothing but questions on his face.

Mr. Barr looked back at him. "I was horrible to him after he told me he way gay. I just couldn't accept it. I thought it was something he'd get out of. But six months went by and you two were still together and stronger than ever. And I got angry. I stopped talking to him." He turned his head to look back at the tv. "And then the day he wrecked. I finally said something to him. And I wish I could take it back."

Edd sat up straight in his seat and gave Mr. Barr all of his attention. "He didn't tell me about any of this. Why would he keep this from me? What did you say to him?"

Mr. Barr didn't move. "I told him that next to letting his mom leave he was my biggest mistake. And he probably never told you because he didn't want you to worry about him."

Edd felt like the breath had been knocked out of him. He looked down at the floor and then back at Mr. Barr. "Why would you say that to him?" Edd jumped up from his spot on the couch. "You were his dad. You were the person he looked up to the most. He spent his entire life trying to make you happy, proud. And you just rejected him like that?" He was near tears again.

"I know. I'm a shitty person. It's not like I don't know that already. I am shit. I pushed his mom away and I pushed him away too. I know I'm the one to blame. You don't have to point my mistakes out to me like I don't already see them." Mr. Barr started yelling and his face was red.

Double D shook his head. "I'm leaving before this gets out of hand." He started for the door. "I'm sorry Mr. Barr." He said before exiting the man's house.

Mr. Barr heard the door shut and he grunted. "Don't be sorry, Edd. I'm the one that should apologize." He said even though he knew the boy couldn't hear him.

Once outside Edd checked his phone. He had a text from Eddy promising that his brother wouldn't be a problem. But on some level Edd and Eddy both knew that somehow, that wouldn't stay true.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks. He'd been at Eddy's house for two weeks. He didn't leave, and Eddy didn't ask him to. Double D used every bit of energy he had just getting out of bed in the morning, and Eddy knew it. He knew his friend was suffering and he couldn't do a damn thing about it and so he in turn suffered.

People stopped by with food and condolences but Edd refused to see them. Everyone understood. For a while. But two weeks went by and Eddy started to get irritated. He knew his friend was mourning but he also knew that more than anything Edd was sulking. He was wallowing. In loss, in despair. He was wallowing in self pity. But still he left Edd to his own devices.

Edd was laying on Eddy's bed waiting for Terrence to leave so he could get some breakfast when he heard Eddy's voice drifting from the kitchen. He sounded angry and it bothered Edd. So he got up and walked towards the kitchen. It was the first time he'd been anywhere but the bathroom and Eddy's room in two weeks. As he got closer he could tell his friend was irritated.

"Look, Bro, you need to just stay out of it. The guy is hurting. So shut up and leave him alone." Eddy hissed.

"What, can't handle the truth?"

"What truth? I'm taking care of my best friend after he lost the person he loves."

"Nah, you're taking care of the guy who doesn't even know you exist. Hoping that if you put him back together he'll fall in love with you?" Terrence teased.

Edd cleared his throat. Eddy jumped slightly, and Terrence turned to smirk at him.

"Hey, Princess. Finally out of bed I see. Why don't you give my little brother a break and come spend some time in my bed?" Terrence winked at Edd and Eddy found himself resisting the urge to brain his brother with the skillet in his hand.

Edd looked at him with nothing but contempt. "I would rather set myself on fire."

Terrance's smirk didn't falter as he stared at Edd. After a tensely silent moment he left the kitchen. Eddy waited until he heard the front door close before he spoke.

"So, you're finally out of the room."

"How very observant of you, Eddy. Would you like a medal? How about a commendation?" Edd's voice was thick with annoyance as he took a seat at the table.

Eddy gritted his teeth. "You don't have to be rude. I'm trying really hard to help you out here."

"I don't recall asking for it." Edd said flatly.

Eddy flicked the spatula out of his hand and onto the stove, he turned the eye off and flung the skillet into the sink. "I know you're hurting but I'd really like my fucking friend back. I'm don't like this zombie douche version." His words were layered with pain and rage.

"Maybe I do." Edd said not meeting his friend's eyes.

Eddy shook his head. "Of course you do, because this version of you is so unlikable you'll never have to worry about falling for someone and getting hurt again. But news flash, Edd; people fall in love, they die, they hurt the people they care about, and they get hurt back. The world doesn't stop spinning for it though."

Edd pushed his chair away from the table still not looking at Eddy. "I'm going home."

Eddy wanted to say something, anything, but all he could do was sigh and stare after his friend.

He hated seeing one of his oldest friends in such a dismal state. He hated that his friend was in so much pain and that he couldn't do anything to help. Not that Edd even seemed to want help in Eddie's mind. But wasn't that usually how it went? The ones who needed help the most were the ones to refuse it most adamantly.

Edd didn't bother packing his things. He knew that even though he was angry at Eddy he wasn't actually angry at Eddy and that he would come back after he had time to calm down. He walked down the street and found himself stopped in front of Kevin's house. There by the garage and covered with a tarp was what was left of Kevin's motorcycle. Part of him wanted to take a sledgehammer and crush every last piece of it. But he couldn't do it no matter how much he wanted to. Standing there, staring at the bike, he felt his mind going into two different directions.

One part of his mind raced through what had happened the day of the accident. But instead of seeing what he'd done that afternoon his mind followed Kevin out of the neighborhood. It was like watching a movie, he could see it all unfolding though he knew that he'd never get the details right in his imagination. That was all he had, his imagined scenarios of what could have happened to cause Kevin to wreck the bike.

The other part of his mind started trying to figure out what he would need to fix the bike, how much it would cost, and how much time it would take. He knew his calculations would be off because he didn't know everything needed to repair it, and some of the items he did know he wasn't sure how much they would cost. But he didn't matter.

As both trains of thought came to the end of their tracks he made up his mind. He was going to fix Kevin's motorcycle. He didn't care what Mr. Barr, Eddy, or anyone else had to say about it.

He walked quickly to Ed's house and let himself into the backyard. He immediately spotted the wheelbarrow he knew would be there and rolled it back over to Kevin's house. He started throwing loose pieces of metal into the wheelbarrow, not bothering to take inventory just yet. He needed to get everything to his own house first. There was a lot less of the loose pieces than he'd initially thought so he only had to take one trip with the wheelbarrow.

It was on his way back to get the body of the motorcycle that he felt it. He felt like someone was watching him, but when he looked around he didn't see anyone.


	5. Chapter 5

Edd had spent most of his morning at the junkyard looking for parts he needed to fix the bike, the place was filthy but he didn't have a choice. He knew that people often threw away things that seemed broken but weren't. A lot of the time he found things that were fixable, all it really took was the knowledge of how to fix it and the patience to do so. The junkyard would have been one of his favorite places to be if it weren't for how nasty it was.

He hadn't been able to find everything that he needed, but he'd found a good bit. His mind stayed busy with thoughts of calculations and mechanics. He refused to think of anything other than fixing the motorcycle. He couldn't. Anything else was dangerous territory. If he let himself think about anything other than the bike then his emotions would start to take over. And feeling was out of the question. So he took what he found back to his garage and tried to leave his feelings in the junkyard where he believed they belonged.

He got back to his house and put all of the parts next to the bike. He went inside and washed up so that he could make some lunch. He couldn't fix the motorcycle if he didn't have any energy. So he ate his sandwich, drank a couple of glasses of water, and then got down to business.

As he worked he kept his mind completely focused on the task in front of him. He had never rebuilt a vehicle before so he wasn't completely sure about what it was that he was doing. For anything he didn't know he looked it up. Having the information readily available to him was a big advantage. He didn't have to keep dropping what he was doing and running to an auto shop, and he was grateful that he could just sit in his garage and be alone. There were a couple of times where he heard knocking on the garage door, but he just ignored it. Whoever it was eventually stopped knocking and went away. For that he was even more grateful.

Double D knew his friends were worried about him, but he just couldn't find it in himself to care. He would talk to them when he was ready, he just hoped that they wouldn't hold it against him. He hoped they would understand that he just couldn't deal with other people yet.

So that's how it went for who knows how long.

Edd would wake up early and go to the junkyard to see if he could find anymore of the parts he needed. Sometimes he would get lucky, sometimes he wouldn't. Then he'd go home, eat, work, and sleep. For the first few days someone would come knocking on the door, but he was too busy to answer. He had to keep working.

Edd lost track of the days and eventually the knocks on the door stopped. He'd come to expect them so the first day that there was no knock he felt a small pang of guilt and regret, but he just kept working. At the end of the month he almost had the bike completely restored, there was just few more parts that he needed. He hadn't had any luck finding them at the junkyard, and he didn't think he'd be able to find them there anytime soon.

So he did the only thing he knew he could do. He went to Eddy's house and knocked on the door. As he waited for someone to answer he hoped that Eddy wouldn't be too upset with him. He was dreading the conversation that he knew was waiting for him, but when the door opened it wasn't Eddy who was there. It was Terrence.

He took a bite of an apple and chewed on it before speaking. "What do you want, Double Dork?" He asked with apple still in his mouth.

Edd scrunched his nose in disgust. "I told you not to call me that." He said through gritted teeth.

Terrence chuckled. "So?"

It took everything Edd had not to punch Eddy's brother in the mouth. He knew how strong Terrence was, and he knew that if Terrence decided to hit him back that he wouldn't stand a chance against the guy. "I need to talk to Eddy."

Terrence took another bite of apple. "He's not here."

"Well where is he?" Edd asked, his voice tense.

"He took a trip out of town with the dumb one and some blonde chick." Terrence said before throwing the apple core over Edd's head into the front yard.

Edd sighed. "Well thanks for nothing." He said before turning to walk away.

Terrence reached out and put a hand on Edd's shoulder. "Now hold on a second. What is that you need? I may not be Eddy, but I'm sure Big Bro can help."

Edd shrugged Terrence's hand off his shoulder. "And just what makes you think I'd want your help?"

"I know motorcycles. I've rebuilt a couple before. I might be able to help." Terrence informed him.

Edd turned back around to face his friend's brother. "How do you even know that's what I'm doing?" Edd asked without trying to conceal his anger.

Terrence shrugged. "I saw you get the bike that day. And then Eddy wouldn't shut up about how you had locked yourself in the garage. It made sense. Plus I'm not stupid. Eddy told me what happened. If I loved a guy and he died totalling his motorcycle I'd rebuild it too."

Edd let out a short and tense chuckle. "Are you even capable of such an emotion? The Terrence I know doesn't even have the emotional capacity to be civil."

Terrence stayed quiet for a moment, his face was unreadable. "That was a long time ago, man. Things changed. So did I. I'm trying to be nice here. Just let me."

Double D didn't know what to say, so he just turned around and started walking back to his house. He was almost to the sidewalk when he stopped. "Well, are you coming or not?"

With that Terrence reached over to grab his keys from the key holder and locked the door before heading over to Edd. "Alright. You wanna show me what we're working with?"

Edd wasn't pleased with the idea of letting Terrence anywhere near Kevin's bike, but Eddy was gone, and it seemed like the only option he had. He didn't have to like it though, he reasoned with himself. He could accept the man's help without liking him, people did it all the time.


End file.
